[贴图] 请偷偷的看，千万不要笑出声！

<p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">1</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、上学时一向不安分，大一时第一次上自学，偶坐在教室郁闷，随即跑到过道抽烟。刚点着烟没一会，来了个<span>PL</span>女生，问寡人，</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">现在上自习呢！你怎么跑出来</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"> </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">了？</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我说<span>:</span></span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">无聊出来抽烟，<span>MM</span>你是哪班的？怎么也跑出来了。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">PLMM</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">指着我们教室说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">那个班的！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">当时偶好激动的说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我们一个班的啊？怎么，你也郁闷吗？</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">她说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">嗯，我们班一个新生上自习跑出去了，我出来找他。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">偶笑笑，看来也还有坐不住的，</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">你找他干啥，你又不是他妈！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">MM</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">没办法啊，我是他班主任！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">偶当时就蒙了</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">……</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">一分钟后，憋出一句话：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">老师，你看着真年轻</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">……”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">
                        </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font></p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 2</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、一兄弟上厕所，结果误入<span>**</span>，进去之后发现没有<span>**</span>池，感觉不对，幸好<span>**</span>内没</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"> </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">有人。他便若无其事地走出来。正在开门的时候，遇到一<span>mm</span>进来，那<span>mm</span>和他打一照面，脸一红，头一低，转身钻男厕去了</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 3</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、一天在公共汽车上人太多了，特别热，特别闷不知谁放了一个屁，这下是环境更加恶化。我朋友实在受不了，又不知道是谁，没办法。正好，售票员正在问：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">谁没有买票？</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我朋友忽生一计，大声说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">放屁的没买票！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">忽然，一个特别胖的女人，手高高的举着票，大声说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我已经买票了！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">      </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">4</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、学里丢自行车情况特严重，新车眨眼就没，不过有时运气好，丢失的自行车隔几天又会冒出来。一日，同宿舍小静新买了一辆变速车，她逢人便炫耀说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">这车我上了最新式的锁！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">第二天，小静上晚自习回，一副萎靡不振的样子，手里还捏了一张纸条，上面写着：别当这儿没高手，车我借走了，过几天还你！不几日，那贼真的把车给还回来了，小静很是高兴，但她担心车被再次</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">借</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">走。遂买了十把大锁，把车子五花大绑地锁了个牢实，还给贼贴了张纸条：看你还怎么</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">借</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">！次日早晨小静下楼的时候，发现车上多了五把锁，锁上还有一张纸条：看你还怎么骑！</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 5</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、孩子就是单纯</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">……</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">初中时，一个男生想抄一个女生的作业，怕人家不同意，就趁她出教室后翻人家的书包，结果翻出来一个卫生巾，他惊讶的说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">哇！好大的一个创可贴啊！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 6</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、中学时一同学乔迁请大家到他家里吃饭</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">……</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">
                        </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">很多很多菜。，饭桌上他老妈站起来很客</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"> </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">气地对大家说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">你们一定要吃饱喝足，不要客气，更不能浪费，现在搬新房了，反正家里没养猪，倒掉很可惜的。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 7</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、<span>H</span>君与朋友进入一家高档商场。进了店门后才走了两步，朋友忽见他在光滑的大理石地面上作滑冰状，甚感奇怪。问他，<span>H</span>君一边继续滑一边指着旁边的牌子，认真地说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">既然来了，就要遵守这儿的规矩。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">那牌子上写着：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">小心地滑</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 8</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、某领导下乡普查，问一老农：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">你知道<span>**</span>为什么不能结婚吗？</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">
                        </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">老农憨厚地笑答道：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">呵呵呵，呵呵呵，关系太熟不好下手。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 9</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、某大学新楼落成一雕塑：一位少女左手捧一本书，右手高擎一只象征和平的鸽子。该校外公开向各学生征集名称，结果许多人的<span>**</span>不谋而合<span>~</span>读书顶个鸟用！　</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 10</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、一次文学考试中有这样一道题：名词解释：莎翁（莎士比亚的尊称），有个同学这样作答的：莎翁，一种奇怪的鸟。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 11</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、上小学的时候，有篇课文叫？瀑布？的，中间说到作者转过一座山见到一条瀑布垂在山</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"> </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">间，我的一个同学朗读的时候也是声情并茂的念：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">转过这座山，我惊呆了，一条破布挂在山上。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">
                        </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">全班同学都惊呆了。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 12</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、一兄得便秘，在厕所里久久不能如便，正在他极力努力的时候，看一哥们风一样的冲进厕所，进了他旁边的位置，刚进去就传来一真**，那兄羡慕的对那哥们说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">哥们好羡慕你呀，</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">那哥们说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">羡慕啥，裤子还没脱呢～～</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 13</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、朋友生日，我带小儿子参加。酒饭过后大家去卡拉<span>OK</span>，小儿子自告奋勇要为主角唱歌。掌声四起<span>~~</span></span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我为叔叔演唱一首折寿。</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">众哗然。我回头看屏幕：祈祷。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;"></span></font>
        </p><p style="BACKGROUND: #f9f9f9; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><font size="3"><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">     </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;"> 14</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">、刚买了房子，兴奋中给一哥们打电话：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">我买房啦，不过就一毛房（忘说</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">坯</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">字了）还得装修！</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">
                        </span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">哥们说：</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">“</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: 幼圆;">就只有一厕所吗？那你住哪里啊？</span><span style="COLOR: #000099; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana;">”</span></font></p><br/>